Being there for a friend in crisis

As I know more people in the Parkinsons community I am starting to realize how deep this disease reaches. Its not just about tremors, rigidity, balance. Below the tip of the iceburg there are dozens of non-motor symptoms of Parkinson’s. And intertwined with these often unseen challenging symptoms are mental health concerns. Some of these emotional issues come with the disease and others come because of the disease. Those that come “with” the disease can be attributed to the lack of dopamine in the substantia nigra, the part of the brain responsible for movement and also rewards. Those emotional issues developed because of the disease occur in more people than we think. The disease changes the way we move, think and speak. This effects relationships with family members, friends, professionals and caregivers. Relationships may break up resulting in financial struggles. Medical bills pile up. There is alot in life that can get messed up,even if you are prudent about taking care of things a long the way.

A crisis may manifest itself in many forms: panic attacks, self harm, suicidal thoughts among the most obvious.

Good communication is essential. Remembering that its not about you, don’t react to what you feel may be an attack. Rather, use active listening which helps your friend feel validated. “Take” the friend’s story and “hold” it so you can feel how it weighs the

person down. Be direct. Ask questions. Don’t worry about saying the right thing. Showing that you care and are concerned and that your shoulder can be leaned upon for support. Reach out to professional help as needed. But also know that your presence in your friends life may be all that is needed to get through this crisis.

There is so much loneliness, anxiety, depression and apathy in this disease.

. Just be present .

Published by Carol Clupny, author Ultreia Books

I am a middle aged woman with Parkinson's Disease. When I was first diagnosed I spent a lot of time researching the disease. Seeing a video of a man in the advanced stages of the disease attempting to get out of his chair and then "freezing" as he tried to walk across the room got me off my butt and moving. Great adventures on the Camino de Santiago and with TEAM Pedaling for Parkinson's across IOWA, as well as the day to day adventures of life have lead me to writing. My first novel, a memoir, will be published early 2019. It is called, you got it THE RIBBON OF ROAD AHEAD. Living with the degenerative neurological disease Parkinson's, ULTREIA is a word that guides me. I have chosen it as the name of my business ULTREIA BOOKS. It comes from Latin and old French and means "unfailing courage". In the old days, pilgrims would call "Ultreïa" to each other as encouragement "Go up, go further!" Nowadays we would say "You can do this thing". It takes courage to live with Parkinson's. May I face each day with unfailing courage.

4 thoughts on “Being there for a friend in crisis

  1. Just being present for the person ,you are so bang on
    We were at a celebration of life for a young woman killed on a motorcycle, I said to her husband I don’t know what to say, he replied your presence is enough.
    You and Charlie are doing an amazing job of helping people deal with a devastating disease, and I hope this is helping you too

  2. ”There is so much loneliness, anxiety, depression and apathy in this disease”

    So true and I’m really feeling it today. My fellow PD friends understand this but I hate to weigh them down with my bad day. Hope this too will pass.

    Thank you for your words.

  3. Thank you, Carol, your blog has helped me understand and communicate with my brother. I appreciate the information you are putting out there for us. May God be with you.

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